行为面试：关于“难相处的同事”问题，要怎样回答？

面试中的行为问题揭示了求职者对自己的认知、对他人的态度。描述自己与难相处的同事一起工作的经历，很大程度上也反映了求职者在职场上的心态。研究表明，要想更加博得大家（包括面试官）的喜爱，我们需要以积极的方式谈论他人。那么，当面试官问你“Tell me about a time when you worked with a difficult person.”时，你该说什么呢？

相似&衍生问题

殊途同归，同样，“难相处的同事”问题也有很多种问法及衍生：

Give me an example of working with others where you did not agree.

How well do you work with people who are different from you?

Tell me about someone who has been difficult for you to work with in your job.

What has been the most difficult situation for you to deal with in your current team?

Tell me about a time you worked with someone challenging.

真正的考察方向

这个问题表面上是:“请给出一个你与难相处的人打交道的例子。”

但实际上，面试官真正想问的是:“你知道的，每个人都有困难的时候，对吧?”

你对难相处的同事的定义？你是如何与那位同事沟通的？你保持冷静了么？你是否能顺畅地与各种各样的人一起工作？

最重要的是，你要知道没有人是完美的，并证明自己有足够的耐心、具备倾听技巧和很好的理解能力。无论遇到何种情况，你都能成功地与同事们和睦相处。

对事不对人

这个问题需要仔细回答，不仅要提前考虑故事中选择的人，还要考虑为什么选择他/她。对事不对人，最好的选择标准是避免由于个人身份或性格，根据这个人在某件事上的具体行为来进行选择。尤其是当这些不太恰当的行为对任务或整个组的其他人也产生了有害影响时，这就是个优秀的例子。

客观且有主见

尽量克制自己，将个人情绪从所发生的事情中提取出来扔掉。说同事的坏话不仅会让自己看起来很糟糕，损害职业声誉，而且也会向面试官传达一个危险信号，这个面试者可能有一天也会说新公司新同事的坏话。没有人愿意和这样一位爱抱怨的人一起工作。所以尽量把更多的注意力放在积极的方面，达到经验+学习这样一个成长模式。

专业且强大

在回答问题时记得体现出自己是个“bigger person”。描述一下你是如何在不失冷静的情况下采取措施解决问题的。表现出专业素质，不要太在意细节，拿出一个有效的解决方案，展现自己最好的一面。这将帮助你在回答这个非常常见的面试问题时展现出最好的一面。

赤裸裸的反面教材

因为关注话题不同引发的不愉快并没有解决。

Wow, that’s easy. There’s this woman in our department who keeps complaining about how she’s being discriminated against for being female and she point to how all the guys talk around the water cooler and she’s not being included. Well, we’re usually talking about sports, so I told her if she wanted to be included, she would need to start actually watching the sports stuff we’re talking about. That seemed to have worked, since she hasn’t been coming around the water cooler anymore to complain…

优秀的事例

（1）遗漏信息——乐观积极，良好沟通解决问题

I once had to work with someone who wasn't giving me the information I needed to do my job in a timely fashion. For a while, I thought he was doing it purposely to make me look bad. I was secretly frustrated. Finally, I sat down with him one day to inquire why he was being so difficult with me. I was shocked to learn that he was so worried about giving me the wrong information, he was triple checking his work, causing the delay. We had a great talk and I explained I'd rather he give me the information on time. So, we worked together to build a system of checks he could quickly do to be confident the information was correct. This experience taught me to never assume anything about a coworker until I talk to them. Communication is the key to getting what you need.

（2）不被信任——乐观积极，良好沟通解决问题
During my recent internship, we had a member of our team who was negative on the approach I was taking for my summer project. I took time to meet with her to better understand her concerns. I will say that it wasn’t easy and I didn’t get a lot accomplished in that first meeting. So I met with my mentor asking for suggestions and she recommended going to lunch with her. When I asked her about lunch, she initially declined, saying that she brings lunch with her to the office. I said I did as well and asked if we could just meet at her desk for a brown bag session. She agreed and we were able to talk through the specifics of my project. It turns out that one part of my project would potentially be removing her access, temporarily, to some data that she needed for her daily work. As we talked it through, we were able to come up with a way to set aside a copy of a static dataset for her to access while the main data was taken offline when needed. She was happy with the outcome and I was as well, since it removed what could have been a major roadblock on our team…

（3）错过截止日期——积极提供帮助，良好沟通解决问题

I once had a colleague who consistently missed deadlines, which caused delays to other tasks being completed. This was frustrating because it was unfair to the other team members who made their deadlines, and put the entire project in jeopardy of being late. I spoke with my co-worker about the missed deadlines and expressed my concerns, and helped her brainstorm some ways to get the work done as quickly as possible.

（4）拒绝沟通——冷静处理，降低损失，使其可控

When I was working on an important initiative with a large team, one team member refused to see anyone else’s point of view. I knew that we weren’t going to be productive if we couldn’t get this team member to collaborate.  I pulled them aside after our first meeting and told them how much I valued their opinions.  I also emphasized that since we were a large group we had to pick our battles and be somewhat flexible.  I think once I pointed that out, they understood the negative impact that their behavior was having on the team.  When I saw how well they responded to our conversation, I realized that instead of arguing with this person in the moment, it was more productive to pull them aside one-on-one.  It’s still not really easy to work with this person, but I’ve found a way to make it manageable.